Weird al close but no cigar julie

Jillian was her name
She was sweeter than aspartame
Her kisses reconfigured my DNA
And after that I never was the same
And I loved her even more
Than Marlon Brando loved soufflé
She was gorgeous, she was charmin'
Yeah, she was perfect in every way
Except she was always usin' the word "infer"
When she obviously meant "imply"
And I know some guys would put up with that kind of thing
But frankly, I can't imagine why
And I told her, I said
HEY!

Are we playin' horseshoes, honey?
No, I don't think we are
You're close (close!)
But no cigar!
Then I met sweet young Janet
Prettiest thing on the planet
Had a body hotter than a habañero
She had lips like a ripe pomegranate
And I was crazy like Manson about her
She got me all choked up like Mama Cass
She had a smile so incredibly radiant
You had to watch it through a piece of smoked glass
I thought after all these years of searchin' around
I found my soul mate finally
But one day I found out she actually owned a